Having difficulty trying to explain myself...

Well today wasn't a good day at all. I woke up in a bad mood because I didn't get hardly any sleep last night. Couldn't sleep for some reason. So of course I start yelling at Chris, Yes I know i shouldn't of done that.

Then I went to work and came home and decided I'd just not say anything because silence is better than fighting or starting a fight. I came home laid down for a bit, fixed some cheesy potatoes to take to my dad's birthday party dinner we had tonight and then on the way home we ended up into it again. This time about the budget and all the things we SHOULD be doing. I get tired of explaining to him that we HAVE TO HAVE more income.

K now let me say this, he wants to be debt free as much as I do or says he does. But I haven't seen any action out of him. We both have our faults, I am the spender so sticking the budget for me is hard work but I on the other hand am ALWAYS online researching ways to make more money. I'm the one working on the budget everyday for hours.

Here's a little background on how this has been going:

He WAS working 60 hour weeks then 2 weeks ago got laid off for 2 weeks, well he ended up working all this past week but is off on Monday now due to lack of work. So things are just iffy right now. Ok so he does make good money when he's on unemployment.

I work the following: Self employed at a hair salon and work Monday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I also help my mom clean houses on Tuesdays and most Wednesdays. Then just last week I got offered another part time job working 3 days a week at an office at starting pay of $9.00 an hour and soon will go up to $11.00. To do this though I'd obviously have to rework my schedule and give up housecleaning. That is no big deal but this would take away from my salon which I don't want to do because I am trying to build a clientele and I am starting to get one as well. So if I give up some hours, my clientele would probably go somewhere else. This company for the office position would like to have me full time eventually but I didnt' commit to that yet because of the salon deal. I NEED the money BUT I also NEED to be home with my children too.

And maybe part of me is just being stubborn because I feel like why should I kill myself to work 3 or 4 jobs while he works 1 and then sits at home on unemployment. We have talked about this and yes he can't really work in the evenings during the week because he never knows what time he'll be home from work when he's working and if he works too much he won't get his unemployment either, which remember is a good pay check too. BUT I say what about weekends? Deliver pizzas, work in a restaurant, work at Wal-Mart. I DONT CARE JUST DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!! I'm just tired of eeling like I am doing it all and I don't know how much longer I can stand to run around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to make this work.

I love him to death and want this to work out but I can't get it across to him how I feel without arguing about it and I'm at my wit's end about it.